Is your teenager depressed?
Do you know the signs to look for?
What’s going on with your teenager? Is
it just the ups and downs of adolescence, or is it something more? In
Dr. Gregg Jantz’s new book, (When Your Teenager Becomes) The Stranger in Your House, parents will learn to distinguish between normal adolescent behavior and clinical depression.
The excerpts below from The Stranger House (© David C Cook) explain what to expect as regular teen behavior and what to be on the lookout for.
What to Expect:
I think the nearest comparison I could
give to what I remember about being a teen and what I hear from
teenagers about adolescence is that of a reptile shedding its skin. When
a snake or a lizard sheds its skin, the new growing skin cells separate
from the old established skin cells, causing a marked change in
appearance and producing an irritability that can result in increased
snapping and hissing. Of course, reptiles shed their skin relatively
quickly, so the analogy doesn’t carry too far. Still, I think it’s
fairly parallel. Your teenager’s nascent adult is separating from the
confinement of childhood, causing a marked change in appearance and
producing an irritability that can result in increased snapping and
hissing. I think it’s why teens often feel like their skin is crawling
and fight against a sensation of being confined,
wanting to burst free. And it’s why parents often look at their teens as
though they’re something that just crawled out from under a rock.
Shedding skin is uncomfortable, often
disturbing, and absolutely necessary for growth—and it’s the same with
adolescence. It makes it easier, however, when you know what to look for
and what it all means. Teenager adolescent behaviors are stereotypical
for a reason—they are fairly consistent across generations. If you
haven’t noticed many of these already, you will, in varying degrees,
depending upon your teen.
-
Moody and irritable
-
Unpredictable
-
Manipulative
-
Argumentative
-
Withdrawn
-
Self-absorbed
-
Dramatic
-
Dismissive
-
Collectively independent
-
Anxious
-
Powerful
-
Exclusively inclusive
-
Physically awkward
-
Overwhelmed
-
Insecure
What to look out for:
As we’ve seen in previous chapters,
dealing with a teenager can be a dicey proposition in the best of times.
On any roller coaster, part of the ride is taking that occasional
plunge, but what happens when the drop becomes too steep or the ride
veers off track? As a parent, your tolerance for a rough ride may be
different from your teen’s. So how do you know if your teen is having a
bad day or a bad week or something more? How do you know if the
withdrawal and slump in grades are normal or something to worry about?
How do you know if it’s just teen angst or something worse? How do you
know if your teen is just unhappy because of a breakup or doing poorly
on a test or if this unhappiness has spread to life in general?
How do you know what you’re dealing with
when your teen has become adept at avoidance? He’s quite capable of
figuring out and telling you what you want to hear so you and your
disquiet will quietly go away. She has the ability to block any genuine
concern with a concussive and shrill blast of anger. Getting to the
bottom of a problem you merely suspect and your teen barely understands
is like catching smoke and trying to examine it in your hand. As
tempting as it may be to give up the whole proposition of trying to
catch smoke in the first place, there is the unsettling reality that
where there’s smoke, there is often fire. This fire has a name: It’s
called depression.
Kids get depressed, just like adults. It’s
something, as a parent, you need to be aware of and look out for. A
depressed teen does not have the wherewithal, generally, to come to you
for help, especially when one of the symptoms is isolation. If you’re
waiting for your teen to come to you, you’re going to be waiting a long
time, maybe too long. So you need to be proactive. Know the signs. Even
though all kids are different, there are some specific things to look
for, according to the National Institutes of Health’s National Youth
Violence Prevention Resource Center (that’s quite a mouthful, but,
luckily, the website is a bit shorter—SafeYouth.gov). No one of these
signs is a definitive red flag that says, “Yes, your teen is depressed.”
Rather, they form a pattern of concern. They should catch your
attention
and slow you down long enough to investigate the source of the smoke,
even if you have trouble catching it in your hand.
So what are these red flags that parents
need to watch for, if they are wondering if their teen is teetering on
the edge of something more serious than teenage angst? I have listed
them below, and following the list is a more detailed explanation of
each:
-
Negative feelings or behaviors lasting more than two weeks
-
Loss of enjoyment in established activities
-
Restlessness, fatigue, or a lack of motivation in school
-
Marked increase in irritability or impatience
-
Feelings of being weighed down
-
Loss of physical and emotional energy
-
Marked changes in appetite or weight
-
Lapse in personal hygiene.
-
Social isolation from family or friends
-
Taking up with a new set of friends
-
Impulsive thinking or rash judgments
-
Inability to make decisions, concentrate, or focus
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Marked increase in frustration or anger
-
Feelings of sadness and worthlessness
-
Expressing feelings of stress and inability to cope
-
Ongoing complaints of headaches, stomachaches, bodyaches
-
Marked change in sleep patterns
-
Avoidance of added privileges
(Further explanations of each item from both lists are included in the book.)
About the author: Dr. Gregg Jantz is the best-selling author of numerous books, including Hope, Help, and Healing for Eating Disorders.
He is the founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, a
leading healthcare facility near Seattle that specializes in
whole-person care.
TULSA, Oklahoma, If you are like most people, the name Oral Roberts will evoke a thousand different images. But, images can be manipulated - cropped, airbrushed, added-to and colored. A life as panoramic as that of Oral Roberts cannot be viewed from one perspective. Seen from one angle Oral Roberts is a far-sighted man of God who fused the "Old Time Religion" with the modern tools of communication and education. Seen from a different angle, he represents, for some, the retreat from the central tenets of the "Bible" to a market-driven, multi-media ministry. What made Oral Roberts such a divisive figure? Like all complicated stories, the truth lies somewhere beneath all the hype, hyperbole and hysteria.
The Family Guide to Movies and Entertainment
will set a milestone next year when a superhero hosts its 20th
anniversary celebration honoring family-friendly and inspirational
entertainment.
The Billy Graham Rapid Response Team
has completed its 22 month deployment to the earthquake-stricken
country of Haiti. Chaplains first arrived in Haiti within 24 hours of
the Jan. 12, 2010, disaster that is estimated to have killed more than 300,000.
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich.,
Dec. 6, 2011 The Empowerment Coaching Network
announces the paperback and ebook release of "Coaching Based Ministry"
(Credo House Publishers) authored by co-founders Mike McGervey and Tim
Cosby. Both versions are available through Amazon.com.
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