Saturday, February 13, 2010

Valentine's Day and Being Single

Sunday is Valentine's Day and you know what that means... At least 90% of the Pastors of churches across the land will stand at the pulpit and tell people how to love their spouses better. They will wax long and eloquently about the types of love, the phases of love, the colours of love and the shoes of love. Well, maybe not the last one, but you get the idea.
Couples in the pews will clasp hands, sit a little closer or elbow each other in the ribs. Teenagers will giggle and write notes just as they do every week. Young marrieds will smile at each other and older marrieds will take notes. But what about the rest of the congregation?
Widows and widowers will wipe a tear and some will question why they were left alone so soon. Divorced people will question what went wrong and either place more blame on the ex or on themselves. Singles of any age, but especially those over 30, will feel either hopeful or hopeless, possibly deficient, alone or lonely. In any case, each one will feel that the message has left them 'singled out' as being different.
The Church generally has groups or classes that reach children, young teens, young adults...then suddenly over the age of 30 or 35, the groups shift to young marrieds, men's ministries and women's ministries. Usually singles' groups, in my experience, are a handful of more mature women, and maybe a couple of very mature men.
Why does the Church not recognize that there is a large portion of their congregation that simply does not 'fit' into the traditional family mode of days gone by? There are issues that singles would love their Pastor to address. Issues of morality, sexuality, emotional health, surviving loss and building healthy relationships with both sexes are important for anyone, but especially singles.
This Valentine's Day, I don't want to feel that the message from the pulpit doesn't apply to me. I will turn to my Father who loves me more than anyone ever would, ever could, and allow His amazing, incredible, unfathomable love to wrap around me. I am so glad that I have not only an Heavenly Father, but a best friend, and Bridegroom who wants me to continually draw closer to Him.
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  1. Thank you for writing this, Lorraine. What you've said is right and well said. As 'church people' we MUST re-evaluate what we've 'always done'. Jesus Christ's love and experience of love is for ALL people. Romance can be so over-rated on days like Valentine's. Let's go deeper and explore the love of Christ for each one of us, individually, and we can then give that love to people in our lives.

    Your friend who loves you!
    Robin Johnston

  2. Hey Robin...thanks so much for these comments. I was thinking after I posted this that there was so much more to be said. I consider all those that are single because of violence and my heart breaks. So many people need the love of a Saviour who is also a heart-mender! I know I've only glimpsed the tip of immense love He has for me...I need to explore deeper. Thanks for your thoughts and your love!